Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Marchin On

I've watched the Biggest Loser here and there in the past, but got hooked this season. Last night they had the final challenge before the season finale next week. The contestants had to carry weighted flags and march through a golf course dropping their flags off at each hole, which represented each week they were at the BL Ranch. Each flag was weighted to what they lost that week so it was hard at first and got easier as they walked on and dropped the weight. While they were doing the challenge "Marchin On" by One Republic was playing (Click here to watch it). It was really touching because as I watched the show I could see the journey the contestants took and it was not easy. A lot of them had self-esteem issues to deal with and by the final week you could really see how they've grown. The song seemed very fitting. Music is really important to me and I always feel like there is a song to describe your current feelings and circumstances. Marchin On is one of those songs for me right now.

I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life, as does everyone and currently I'm in one of those down moments. It's nothing major, just a bump in the road. There have been things that constantly tempt me and even though I've grown stronger and learned a lot from my mistakes, there are always little fallbacks. It's frustrating, but that's life. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel and I feel like I'm on the cusp of something really great. Can that feeling even be real? Either way, I feel like that right now.

My 28th birthday is just around the corner, May 28th. It is my golden birthday! I've always been big on birthdays, but this year especially I'm very excited. I've accomplished a lot in my life so far, but there's still so much I want to do. And, even though I have a lot of accomplishments under my belt I'm not always happy. That is one of my constant battles. I'm my own worst critic and I'm realizing that because I don't always love myself I allow myself to get into sticky situations. It's time that ends because if you don't love yourself, no one else will either. I know that's harsh, but confidence is crucial to happiness. I've been working on mine and am in a good place right now, but there is still more to work on.

One of the long time goals I've had for myself is to run in a race. I say it every year and it never happens. Well, this year is the time. In fact, on my birthday there is a local 10k and I registered for it! I started getting into running about 10 weeks ago and met with a friend once a week. We didn't start on a training routine because we didn't know about the race. We were just doing it for exercise. Five weeks before the race we realized the date and have been trying to train for it. Being that I'm still a beginning runner and can now just barely get done with a mile I know I will not be able to run the whole thing, but I'm still going to do it. I know I can finish it and if I don't start now, when will I? Now is the time! I'm so excited for the race and I really feel like even though I had my little fallback, things are getting better and I'm learning to be happy with me. It's been a struggle in life and definitely like climbing a mountain, but I'll get to the top one day.

Crossing the finish line will be so exciting for me and really feels like it's going to be something special,at least for me. Finally I'm doing something I've always wanted to do. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Even though I won't be able to run the whole race, I know I can do it. There are many other races to come and this is just the beginning. It's the beginning to more races and more self-confidence. I can't wait! I literally have a mountain to climb in my life right now, but I'm climbing and I'll keep marching on :)

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